June 2, 2004

• It’s Day Three of Tiger’s Summer Movie Guide. Hope you’re ready for another long one (BTW, a belated thank you to andromediva, Marisa, VikingBoy, and Cortney_12 for your positive feedback)…

  
  

   

  
  

  Action/Adventure

  
  

   

  
  

  Movie: Spider-Man 2

  
  

  Release Date: June 30

  
  

  Summary: It's two years later, and Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire, who came thisclose to being replaced by Jake Gyllenhaal) is finding it increasingly difficult to balance his life as a mild-mannered college student with his secret identity as a wall-crawling, quip-loving web-slinger. Complications include mechanical-armed villain Doc Ock (Alfred Molina) and the impending nuptials of Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst).

  
  

  My Take: I never saw the first movie (although I do remember Marisa being very excited about it), since I generally prefer creating my own superheroes to watching others. I saw some episodes of the cartoons from various decades, which leads me to think of Spider-Man as one of the cheesiest superheroes ever. However, when I was eight years old I was obsessed with the 70s live-action TV show for one weekend (I think the USA channel was running a marathon of it, but all I remember is that Peter Parker was much older than a high school/college student, and that whenever Spider-Man showed up, they played this really catchy disco/funk music).

  
  

  How Likely I Am To See It: Unlikely

  
  

   

  
  

  Movie: Troy

  
  

  Release Date: May 14

  
  

  Summary: In the year 1193 B.C., Paris, a prince of Troy woos Helen, Queen of Sparta, away from her husband, Menelaus, setting the kingdoms of Mycenae Greece at war with Troy. The Greeks sail to Troy and lay siege. Achilles was the greatest hero among the Greeks, while Hector, the eldest son of Priam, King of Troy, embodied the hopes of the people of his city.

  
  

  My Take: When I first learned that Brad Pitt was going to play Achilles, I told Marisa and she was horrified (actually, her take on this would be much more interesting than mine). I just hoped they would concentrate on the mythology instead of battle after battle after battle. Marisa’s hope was that they wouldn’t screw up the goddesses by combining Athena and Hera or something. Apparently she doesn’t have to worry about that, because the whole mythological backstory has been completely eliminated (So, Paris just passes Helen in the street or what?).

  
  

  How Likely I Am To See It: Unlikely

  
  

   

  
  

  Movie: The Day After Tomorrow

  
  

  Release Date: May 28

  
  

  Summary: A paleoclimatogist (Dennis Quaid) races to save the world and his Manhattan-trapped son (Jake Gyllenhaal) from an impending Ice Age brought on by the effects of global warming (or, as the gun-shy Fox marketers call it, "global climate change"), which causes cataclysmic hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, hail, heat and a colossal tidal wave.

  
  

  My Take: Okay, when I first heard of this movie, I never once thought of it as controversial. I always assumed that global warming was a given, but apparently not. What I don’t get is why those who don’t believe in it act as if it’s a dirty word or a Satanic cult. But I digress.

  
  

  How Likely I Am To See It: Eventually

  
  

   

  
  

  Movie: King Arthur

  
  

  Release Date: July 7

  
  

  Summary: Based on a more realistic portrayal of "Arthur" than has ever been presented onscreen. The film will focus on the history and politics of the period during which Arthur ruled -- when the Roman empire collapsed and skirmishes over power broke out in outlying countries -- as opposed to the mystical elements of the tale on which past Arthur films have focused.

  
  

  My Take: Yet another massive age difference (Arthur is played by Clive Owen, who is almost 40, while Guinevere is played by Keira Knightley, who is 19), although this is probably factual for once. I don’t know; for some reason, “de-mystified” seems to translate to “not fun” for me, although Camelot was never my favorite story (I am still trying to read the Avalon books, though).

  
  

  How Likely I Am To See It: Probably not

  
  

   

  
  

  Movie: Catwoman

  
  

  Release Date: July 23

  
  

  Summary: Catwoman is the story of shy, sensitive artist Patience Philips (Halle Berry), a woman who can't seem to stop apologizing for her own existence. She works as a graphic designer for Hedare Beauty, a mammoth cosmetics company on the verge of releasing a revolutionary anti-aging product. When Patience inadvertently happens upon a dark secret her employer is hiding, she finds herself in the middle of a corporate conspiracy. What happens next changes Patience forever. In a mystical twist of fate, she is transformed into a woman with the strength, speed, agility and ultra-keen senses of a cat. With her newfound prowess and feline intuition, Patience becomes Catwoman, a sleek and stealthy creature balancing on the thin line between good and bad. Like any wildcat, she's dangerous, elusive and untamed. Her adventures are complicated by a burgeoning relationship with Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt), a cop who has fallen for Patience but cannot shake his fascination with the mysterious Catwoman, who appears to be responsible for a string of crime sprees plaguing the city.

  
  

  My Take: Sorry for the really long summary, but it was the only one IMDB had and MSN’s was too sarcastic. I said earlier that I wasn’t a big follower of superheroes (preferring to create my own instead), but I saw Batman Returns when I was nine years old simply because of Catwoman. I thought she was cool (I still have a Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman poster in my room), even though she was a “villain” (actually, she’s not really a villain or a hero; she just has no loyalties and does what she thinks is in her best interests). Anyways, I was happy when I first heard that this movie was pitched (which was sometime back in high school). Then I heard it was just a rumor, then suddenly it was given the green light, but with Halle Berry instead of Ashley Judd. I was a little disappointed when I found out that she was going to have a different backstory and that it wouldn’t take place in Gotham City, but I could live with it, since I’m not a big Batman fan. Then the pictures came out. I will say this out loud: The costumes SUCK. Also, the movie is already getting bad press, and many critics are already calling it this year’s Gigli. However, I will probably see it anyway and just hope that the are wrong (hey, I liked Batman & Robin and The Matrix Revolutions, and I even found The Cat in the Hat to be tolerable).

  
  

  How Likely I Am To See It: Most Likely

  • 3:26 pm
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