December 9, 2002

  • Well, this isn't going to be too impressive-looking, since I don't have Premium and I can't change the font, but...


    NOW TAKING NOMINATIONS FOR THE 6TH ANNUAL DUMBEST COMMERCIAL OF THE YEAR CONTEST!!!!


    This thing started in 8th grade, and every year I would take nominations from whoever, and then we would vote in the last week of December. This year, I'm running it on Xanga. It's your only chance to vent and complain about commercials that you never care to see again. Here are the rules:


    1. The commercial had to have aired sometime this year (preferably for the first time, but I'm willing to make exceptions).


    2. No movie ads (We know they're all stupid; don't reinforce it).


    3. No video ads (unless it's one of those you have to order over the phone or something like that).


    4. Submit local commercials at your own risk. If I don't know what you're talking about, I will not list it.


    5. Please, do not submit anything obscene or pornographic.


    Past winners (or losers, depending on your POV) are:


    1997: Big Lots (If you don't remember "Closeout Man," be glad you don't. If you do, my condolences)


    1998: Affordable Chiropractic (This was a local commercial, but the contest was still local then. Basically, it featured a bunch of REALLY bad actors doing whatever-such as riding motorcycles in a field or playing basketball-and one complains about his/her bad back, and another recommends this Affordable Chiropractic. Then the camera would pan over to a guy with a guitar singing a really bad jingle off-key:"I'm pain-free, it's as easy as 1,2,3..." Luckily, this place is now out of business so I don't have to put up with it anymore.)


    1999: Home Depot (Santa Claus crashes into the chimney. C'mon people...)


    2000: D-Con (This is probably the most disturbing one so far. We are shown a bunch of warm, fuzzy shots of Christmas trees, stockings, cookies, etc, while the announcer reads the first few lines of "The Night Before Christmas." After all these warm, fuzzy shots, the announcer says the line "Not a creature was stirring, not even a...mouse." The word "mouse" is said in a really evil tone, and at the same point, we are offered a shot of the D-Con box. How tasteless can you get?)


    2001: Dell ("Dude, you're gettin' annoying!" PLEASE, get someone else. I'm about to strangle that kid.)


    I'll take nominations until Christmas Day, so hurry!!!

Comments (6)

  • European commercials are quantums above American commercials in terms of badness. I could easily give you examples, but you wouldn't know what the heck I was talking about because these commercials are too bad even to air in the U.S.

    Unfortuantely, though, I really haven't watched a lot of American T.V. all this year, I'm surprised to suddenly come to this realization. Sorry I can't help.

  • actually some european commercials aren't that bad - it's children's programming that really disturbs me - I saw too much bad stuff during my stay in france

  • I have to agreed with CPhantom , when anyone visit us here they always say how much better our commericals are , thanks for passing the word about the party

  • Isn't everyone sick of Kirstie Alley and the HORRID Pier 1 Imports commercials?  She is so annoying!

  • Two nominations from moi: 1st - Morgan Fairchild and the Old Navy "Family Fleece" ads - 2nd - The floor mate commercial with that bloody kangaroo.

  • How could I forget those damn Old Navy commercials?!

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