Yeah, I know I’m a dork, opening up this season review with an obscure Star Trek quote. I’m going to try to focus on the season in and of itself, though with Pudge poised to take the fall for the season’s shortcomings and Sean Casey already having done so, things may not be quite as upbeat as they might have been five days ago (though losing Pudge may well give me a better reason to dislike the Indians). That said, there will be a time and a place for a eulogy of sorts, but I’m gonna wait for the hammer to fall before I get to that (and I’ve already got a really nerdy metaphor ready and waiting for it). Anyways, on with the review.

Since I’ve been kinda sleepwalking through the recent Tiger season, I was only vaguely aware of the magic that was happening in 2006, and I even missed a lot of the postseason with the exception of the World Series, something that I deeply regret now (though with the help of mlb.tv, I’m getting a chance to see what I missed; don’t tell anyone, though). I was determined not to let that happen again. What I went through these past several months was definitely an epic (since I tended to view it as something fictional anyways). It was one that finished without an epilogue, and in my view, it’s one that will have a somewhat tragic ending. Still, there are plenty of “sad” movies that are really, really good, and I could probably fit this season into that category, at least eventually. Nearly everyone on the team had something to be proud of. Curtis Granderson became only the third player in the history of the game to get over twenty home runs, doubles, triples, and stolen bases in a season (though with Jimmy Rollins hitting his twentieth triple a few days ago, it didn’t take long to get player #4). Polanco got 200 hits for the first time in his career, went through an entire season without making an error, and is pretty much a lock for the second base Gold Glove. Gary Sheffield was injured for much of the second half, but during May and June, we got a glimpse of what he will bring to this team should he be able to get his shoulder back in form. Magglio just had one monster season that was capped off by winning the batting title, and if not for A-Rod, he would’ve been the MVP as well. Carlos Guillen had his 1000^th career hit, and he reached 100 RBIs for the first time in his career. By the numbers, Pudge didn’t have that great a year by his standards (though not horrible by any means), and he’s about to pay the price for that, but he caught his 2000^th game, called a no-hitter, and hit his 500^th double, among other things. Sean Casey also reached a milestone in doubles by hitting his 300^th. Brandon Inge turned in a Gold Glove-worthy performance at third base, although his lack of offensive production will probably deny him that honor. And the list goes on and on. In the end though, I think the number one problem was the injuries. If it had just been one person (be it Rogers or Zumaya or Sheffield or whoever), I think the Tigers would’ve been able to handle it, but there were just too many down for the count.

And now for the highs, the lows, and the weird stuff:

Best Defensive Play: There were a ton, and I mean a ton, of defensive gems this year, but my favorite has to be Curtis Granderson robbing Wily Mo Peña of a home run in the final game before the All-Star Break. The way he did it made it look effortless, but damn, that was incredible. That’s one for the highlight reels for a long time to come.

Honorable Mentions: The double play turned during the Verlander no-hitter, Brandon Inge falling into the seats but making the catch during one of the games in Seattle, the Magglio sliding catch during the no-hitter, the Granderson diving catch to save a run during a tie game in Cleveland, the endless supply of Inge barehand plays.

Worst Pitching Meltdown: I’m actually pluralizing this one, because I’m gonna say Nate Robertson, Tim Byrdak, and Jeremy Bonderman in that entire series in Anaheim back in July. I know that there were problems galore with the pitching in pretty much every game during that stretch, but this probably was the low point, cuz the Angels scored at least ten runs in all three games, mostly off the starters (though in the middle game of the series, their huge inning came against the bullpen).

Honorable Mentions: Todd Jones giving up five runs in the ninth inning against Cleveland, Chad Durbin and the bullpen combining to give up seven home runs against Texas, Andrew Miller in that first game of the five-game series in Chicago (specifically, in his final inning, when his last two pitches hit the screen on the fly), Andrew Miller in his final start of the year against Kansas City.

Best Home Run: I’m gonna pluralize this as well, because it came in the final game in the Oakland series at Comerica Park, when Magglio homered twice in the same inning. The only other Tiger to do that was Al Kaline.

Honorable Mentions: Gary Sheffield’s second home run of the year (after being hit by Daniel Cabrera in his previous at-bat), any of the grand slams, Magglio’s blast during the extra-innings game in Cleveland, Pudge’s three-run shot off of Anthony Reyes in the second game against the Cardinals, Marcus Thames hitting one off the camera well in dead center at Comerica Park, Marcus Thames hitting upper-deck home runs at RFK Stadium on consecutive nights.

Most Stomach-Churning Moment: Watching Joel Zumaya being escorted into the clubhouse in Kansas City with his hand frozen in that grip and a look of agony on his face.

Honorable Mentions: Craig Monroe striking out five times in one game, Andrew Miller pitching to the screen in Chicago, Nate Robertson’s brilliant pitching performance against Cleveland going unrewarded.

Most Exciting Come-From-Behind/Walk-Off Win: There were a lot of contenders for this one, but I’d have to say the dramatic, come-from-behind win in the make-up game against Toronto, when the Tigers, down 4-1, scored four runs in the bottom of the ninth with two outs by stringing together four singles, a walk, and then another single off the bat of Maggs to plate the winning run.

Honorable Mentions: Pudge hitting a 3-run homer in the top of the ninth inning against Kansas City to turn a 2-0 deficit into an eventual 3-2 victory, two consecutive extra-inning wins against Chicago (courtesy of Timo and Polanco), Brandon Inge hitting a walk-off home run against Kansas City, Pudge hitting the game winning single off of Jonathan Papelbon in the bottom of the thirteenth against Boston.

Most Uncomfortable Win: There were a lot of these during that month-long span when the bullpen was struggling, but I’d have to say it would be the 9-8 victory over the Washington Nationals in the first game of that series, if for  nothing else but the “it felt like we lost” reaction to it. I suppose that’s a fair point, cuz the Tigers went into the sixth inning with a 9-1 lead. All of a sudden, it seemed like every Nationals hitter just figured out Mike Maroth, who had been pitching a decent game up till that point. He gave up four runs in that inning to make it 9-5. The bottom of the ninth was even scarier. Todd Jones used up his entire margin for error, giving up three runs, and it took an impressive play from Carlos Guillen to get the final out and keep from making it a tie game.

Honorable Mentions: The 8-7 win against the Mets in game 2 of their series, the 10-9 win over Toronto in the second game of the year (well, the Tigers went into the top of the eighth leading 10-2, if that’s any indication), Todd Jones’s 300^th save (of course, any stress about that one was immediately put aside to congratulate Jonesy).

Best Thrashing of a “Good” Pitcher: I’d have to say scoring nine runs off of Tom Glavine in their 15-7 victory over the Mets. Apparently, at the time it was his worst outing ever (I’m not sure if that’s still true, cuz he was struggling down the stretch, which is one of the reasons why the Mets are not in the playoffs this year).

Honorable Mentions: Hanging a 5-spot on John Smoltz (especially with all five runs being scored with 2 outs), beating up Mike Mussina twice, scoring seven runs off of C.C. Sabathia.

Toughest Loss To Take: This was kind of a hard one to decide on, but in the end I’d have to go with the 9-8 loss to the Angels way back in April, because you had to go through the emotional turbulence of watching the Tigers first find themselves in a 7-0 deficit early, then chip away and rally back to take the lead in the ninth inning courtesy of Magglio hitting a home run off Frankie Rodriguez, only to have the Angels tie the game on a wild pitch in the ninth and win it in the tenth. Three Tigers errors kind of allowed that game to slip away from them as well.

Honorable Mentions: The 12-11 loss to Cleveland when the Tigers went into the bottom of the ninth with a 4-run lead, the second game of the Chicago doubleheader, the 3-1 loss to Cleveland after Nate Robertson pitched an absolute gem but the Tigers couldn’t muster one measly run, the 6-3 loss to Kansas City where the Tigers got sixteen hits but only three runs.

Most Hilarious Moment: Hands down, this one has to be Sean Casey hitting a triple in the 16-0 win over the Yankees. During Leyland’s post-game interview, someone asked him if that was the fastest he’d ever seen Casey run, and he replied, “No, that’s the longest I’ve ever seen Casey run.”

Honorable Mentions: The other players’ reactions to Mike Rabelo hitting his first home run on the final day of the season, Sean Casey winding up with a stolen base in Seattle, Pudge drawing a bases-loaded walk in Minnesota and looking genuinely thrilled about it, Jim Leyland running and jumping around after the come-from-behind win over Toronto, Pudge running up to Justin Verlander and practically leaping into him after the no-hitter, Bonderman getting his first Major League hit and subsequently having to run the bases in Philadelphia.

Strangest Game In Which the Tigers Lost: The west coast (home of Twilight Zone Hell) provided a lot of candidates for this one, but I’m picking the first game after the All-Star Break, in which the Tigers lost to Seattle 3-2. There were all kinds of strange things about this game, starting with Adrian Beltre reaching first on a strikeout/wild pitch that Pudge didn’t chase down. Pudge was ejected one batter later after brushing the umpire during his argument that Yuniesky Betancourt interfered with his throw down to second base (and I still think he has a valid point, especially when you consider that that umpire was suspended near the end of the year for another incident; I’m not the only one who thinks he was baiting Pudge). Then later in the game, Adrian Beltre singled with the bases loaded. That got two runs in, and when Beltre tried to take second on the throw to the plate, Rabelo threw to Guillen once Beltre overshot the bag. Replays showed that Guillen tagged him at least three times but the umpires called him safe, and meanwhile another run scored. After Leyland convinced the umpires to huddle, they called Beltre out for never touching second base, but the replays showed that he DID touch the bag, and they still held up that third run, which turned out to be the game-winner. This is the game in which I coined the phrase “Umpires On Crack,” and luckily it’s a phrase I don’t have to use that often.

Honorable Mentions: The entire series against the Angels in July, the second-to-last game of the year in which the Tigers lost 3-2 in the bottom of the ninth after a bad call from the umpire (Pudge threw to second for a force attempt after a bad bunt, and the umpire ruled he pulled Omar Infante off the bag, when in actuality he did not).

Strangest Game In Which the Tigers Won: There are a lot of candidates for this one, but I’m going with the 9-5 win over Cleveland at Jacobs Field (the first time all season that the Tigers had beaten the Indians). It started out strange because everyone was wearing those 1977 jerseys (made even stranger by the fact that the music selection at work the next day was just a little heavy on the grooviness, if you know what I mean). Then there was the whole situation in which Jim Leyland got ejected AFTER Chad Durbin had struck out Travis Hafner. Justin Verlander also got tossed for some unfathomable reason. Then the Indians proceeded to make, like, four errors or something like that. The night just got weirder and weirder, but the Tigers won, so that made it entertaining as well.

Honorable Mentions: The game against the Yankees that started at 11:00 at night and didn’t end until 3:30 in the morning (this would’ve been my pick if not for the fact that while I was watching the game, I got pissed off at some people online who were taking cheap shots at Pudge, and later I got mildly annoyed with Pudge, so there’s a tiny bit of lingering negativity that keeps this from being the top pick), the first game of the year against the Angels (cotton candy, kissing, fan interference, and uncharacteristic errors; ‘nuff said), the final game at Safeco Field (the Tigers stole five bases, including a stolen base by Sean Casey and a steal of home by Gary Sheffield), Ryan Raburn’s 7-RBI game against Chicago (if only because a lot of the contribution came from the Toledo guys), the bench-clearing game against the Orioles.

Weirdest Fan Getup: I have to say the guy dressed as a lobster in the first game of the year against the Indians.

Honorable Mentions: The guy dressed in a Bobby Seay jersey and kilt on ‘80s Night, the couple in caveman outfits that showed up in both Minnesota and Chicago.

Most Personally Satisfying Game: Hands down, it’s the Pudge grand slam game. It’s a shame there won’t be any more of those at Comerica Park, but damn, it felt good. It was probably Pudge’s best game of the year, to say the least (well, with six RBIs on the night, I would hope so). If I could have chosen the two games I went to this year, this would be one of them (I think you know what the other one would have been).

Honorable Mentions: The 3-2 extra-inning game over Boston, the 8-7 win in the middle game against the Cardinals, the first game against Philadelphia, the Verlander no-hitter, the 16-0 win over the Yankees, the 12-6 win over Seattle.

Best Game of the Year: There is absolutely no debate about this. It’s definitely Justin Verlander’s no-hitter, or as I call it, “the feel-good movie of the year.” You couldn’t have scripted it any better. He turned in an absolutely amazing performance, and his defenders were unbelievable. We’re gonna be watching that one for a long time to come. Even though I’m probably going to go through a lot of disappointment and even sadness in the coming weeks, games like that make me think that maybe it was worth it, after all.

Honorable Mentions: The Pudge grand slam game, the 16-0 win over the Yankees, the win during Fiesta Tigres, the 7-2 win over Boston at Fenway.

And now all that’s left is to look towards 2008, which will evidently bring many changes. The Tigers are gonna need a shortstop, a left fielder, and apparently a catcher (and damn you Scott Boras for trying to get my hopes up). If Kenny Rogers doesn’t return, they’re gonna need to sign a veteran pitcher to stabilize the rotation as well. As for me, I’m not sure yet how much I’m gonna follow next season. I mean, I’m sure I’ll at least marginally pay attention to it, but the wounds may be too fresh for me to give as devoted a following as I did this year (so to speak). I said it before, and I’ll say it again: I think I’m too softhearted for this business. However, though there were drastic consequences, 2007 provided us with many memorable and exciting moments, and for that, I am thankful, and I am glad to have been one of the three million who made the trip to Comerica Park this year. So, the Total Amateur Analysis will now sign off (except for the occasional guest appearance), and what better way to go out than with Styx:

And so, my friends, we’ll say goodnight,

For time has claimed his prize,

But tonight can always last,

As long as we keep alive,

The mem’ries of Paradise…

Hey, it may be bittersweet, but it was nice to end with a bang, wasn’t it? Nate Robertson went out on a high note as the Tigers FINALLY found the run support they were supposed to be giving him all year long. Nate was given so many runs to work with he probably didn’t know what to do with himself. Hopefully that’s a good sign for next year.

With so many Tigers in the lineup on the verge of milestones coming into play yesterday, I’m glad that all of them escaped the irony of falling just a little bit short, kinda like the season in general. Obviously we knew going into this that Magglio would win the batting title. He capped it off by going 3-for-4 before departing. But everyone who started yesterday with a goal seemed to get it. Granderson has finished the year over .300, Polanco got his 200^th hit, and Guillen got over the century mark in RBIs. And there was another milestone that no one really thought about until it happened. Yes, on the last day of the year, the only home run virgin left in the Tigers clubhouse was finally deflowered. Actually, I shouldn’t have been THAT surprised, cuz Rabelo’s put up some pretty good numbers against Chicago pitching this year. He had a couple of three hit games and now a two hit game with his first career home run. If you watch the online highlight of his homer, you’ll find that the Chicago broadcasters say as much (“Rabelo’s looked like Johnny Bench against us all year”). And of course he got the silent treatment once he got back to the dugout, but even that didn’t last very long. The other thing that the blowout did was that it resulted in the appearance at one point or another of every player except Timo and Pudge (who are both starters, so this is not surprising). Speaking of Pudge (and you know how I love to do that), I did see him several times via shots of the dugout during the game. At the beginning part of the game, it looked as though I would be forced to end his season (and quite possibly his career as a Tiger) with yet another Fashion Police nag, which I really, really didn’t want to do. But then when I saw him again in the seventh inning…cue the Hallelujah Chorus. I don’t know what made him come to his senses mid-game, but I’m sure as hell not gonna question it. By the way, I’d like to issue a public apology for making a complete ass of myself with this matter over the last week or so and devoting entirely way too much space on it. Of course, there were many other random entertaining moments during this game. One was that because of Maggs, the game was being broadcast on Venezuelan TV, and they kept bringing up the audio of their play-by-play, which was amusing. I even understood a little bit of it (and I liked how the two announcers were dressed exactly alike, right down to their ties). Mike Rabelo’s home run was hilarious in and of itself, but the reactions of the players were absolutely priceless. The guys in the dugout were busy high-fiving and congratulating Marcus Thames for his RBI double, when all of a sudden their heads turned toward the field (in unison, no less) with looks of absolute shock on their faces, and half of them kinda slowly approached the front of the dugout in disbelief. The bullpen went absolutely crazy (and since the ball landed right next to the ‘pen, they were able to get it for Rabelo), capped off by Virgil Vasquez doing his best Spiderman impersonation on the wall. Also, when I was getting lunch at work yesterday, I noticed that they had a bunch of boxes of Tigers bobbleheads stacked up next to the bakery. Kind of a weird place to put them. Unlike Comerica Park, in which the only bobblehead they had seemed to be the Joel Zumaya one, Kroger’s had a variety. I saw ones for Guillen, Granderson, and Pudge (and I’d like to add that the Pudge bobblehead looked nothing like him). I’m not a huge fan of bobbleheads, though, so it’s likely I’ll leave well enough alone.

And so our attention now turns to the Tiger-less postseason. I don’t often discuss the National League, but I feel I should mention that the closest thing that I have to a favorite NL team would probably be the New York Mets, and they lost their playoff spot on the last day. That’s gotta suck. Anyways, that means your American League representatives are the Yankees, Red Sox, Angels, and Indians, while the Phillies, Cubs, Diamondbacks, and Padres/Rockies (who will have a one-game playoff today) will represent the National League. Out of all those teams, my top pick would definitely be the Yankees (“pick” as in preference, not prediction), and I know that doesn’t sit well with some of you, but the Yankees are probably my second-favorite team overall anyways (I think this stems out of the fact that I love the city of New York more than anything else). Back when the Tigers sucked, I always rooted for the Yankees in the postseason (and in retrospect, I never realized that would create such a conflict of interest, considering all those years that they matched up against Texas in the playoffs, as well as the 2003 World Series against the Marlins; had I but known, it might have been a more difficult decision). My top pick for the National League would probably be the Cubs, mostly cuz of Craig Monroe (hey, if I can’t root for the Tigers, I might as well root for someone who started the season as one; yet another piece of irony is that this means that both Craig Monroe AND Jose Mesa are in the postseason). As far as potential World Series matchups go, I’d root for the Yankees over any of the other teams, and I’d root for any of the National League teams over either Boston or Cleveland. It’s a bit more tricky when it comes to the Angels, because while I don’t dislike them per se, I’m not a real fan of their style of baseball. Yeah, I guess I’m a sucker for watching the ball fly into the seats. Plus, since I seemed to have developed a soft spot for catchers, I guess I kind of empathize with them. They don’t wanna have to deal with guys who are gonna run all night. That could also be because I’m used to rooting for a team that doesn’t run a whole lot anyways (although they were doing quite a bit of running down the stretch). Anyways, I’d probably pick the Cubs or the Padres over the Angels, but the Angels over the Phillies, Diamondbacks, or Rockies. I think that’s fair enough.

Dear God, it feels weird not giving you a game preview in the final paragraph. This isn’t the final post of the Total Amateur Analysis for 2007, though. I am planning on doing my own take on a season review for tomorrow, plus I may give a few brief thoughts on the playoffs once they get underway. Of course, that season review will give way to a sorrowful retrospective should I receive bad news on the Pudge option before then. That’s an issue that I’ve been all over the place on. Some days I consider myself cautiously optimistic, other days I’m certain that they won’t pick it up, while other times I’m totally unsure. Today’s one of those days where I’m pretty sure he won’t be back, despite what Danny Knobler, Jason Beck, and the FSN guys have speculated. I’ll admit up front that when it comes to contracts and that sort of thing, I’m way in over my head, but it seems to me that if they were going to pick up the option, they would’ve done it already. At the very least, it makes it look like they’re waiting around to see if they can find “something better” (not that there’s a whole lot out there; there are no catching prospects in the Tigers organization, and the only big-name catcher on the free agent market this year is Jorge Posada, and I can’t imagine him leaving the Yankees; I don’t want him anyways) before they decide (though I did learn today that they have until 15 days after the World Series to make that decision). Still, one can only hope that I am wrong. As far as the site itself goes, the Phantom will probably make his return before Halloween. I’ll likely leave this look up through most of the postseason, though again that may depend on the whole Pudge situation (and I’d like to add that my away message says, in part, “PICK UP THE OPTION!!!” and twice already I’ve IM’ed friends without realizing that I still had the away message up, so now I’ve taken my campaign to Mandy and to Laura, neither of whom probably have the slightest idea what I’m talking about). And now I have to get to class, so that’ll do it for today.

UPDATE: Jason Beck has reported on Dave Dombrowski's end-of-season press conference. Dombrowski says the Tigers still haven't decided on Pudge's option, and likely won't until the deadline. Apparently someone tried the same logic I did earlier today (that if they were gonna pick up the option, they would've done it already), and Dombrowski gave some answer about how that's "not necessarily true," and that they might want to explore their options. You know, as much as I admire Dave Dombrowski, I've been in college long enough to know BS when I see it. I don't think Pudge is coming back. And as for the emotional punch in the face that it's gonna give me when they officially announce that, well, I've got no one to blame but myself.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Danny Knobler agrees with me. The official website now also has a story on Dombrowski's press conference, and his quotes seem to confirm what I suspected from the Jason Beck story. They also had some quotes from Pudge from an interview yesterday, and he was speaking about his time in Detroit in the past tense, so there you go.