I AM NOW TAKING NOMINATIONS FOR THE 10TH ANNUAL DUMBEST COMMERCIAL OF THE YEAR CONTEST!!!

I started this contest with a few friends in 8th grade and it has steadily expanded. I'm running it on Xanga for the fourth year in a row, and for the first time I’ll be running it on Myspace as well. This is your chance to vent and complain about the commercials from this year that you never want to see again. For those of you who are new this time around (or for those who need a friendly reminder), here are the rules:

1. The commercial had to have aired sometime in 2006 (preferably for the first time, but I'm willing to make exceptions).

2. No movie ads (we know they're stupid; don't reinforce it), although commercials that spoof movie ads are welcome.

3. No video ads (unless it's one of those you have to order over the phone or something like that).

4. Submit local commercials at your own risk. If I don't know what you're talking about, I won't list it. If you can find the commercial on YouTube, please give me the link.

5. No political ads.

6. Please, do not submit anything obscene or pornographic.

Past winners (or losers, depending on your POV) are:

1997: Big Lots (If you don't remember "Closeout Man," be glad you don't. If you do, my condolences)

1998: Affordable Chiropractic (This was a local commercial, but the contest was still local then. Basically, it featured a bunch of REALLY bad actors doing whatever-such as riding motorcycles in a field or playing basketball-and one complains about his/her bad back, and another recommends this Affordable Chiropractic. Then the camera would pan over to a guy with a guitar singing a really bad jingle off-key:"I'm pain-free, it's as easy as 1,2,3..." Luckily, this place is now out of business so I don't have to put up with it anymore.)

1999: Home Depot (Santa Claus crashes into the chimney. C'mon people...)

2000: D-Con (This is probably the most disturbing one so far. We are shown a bunch of warm, fuzzy shots of Christmas trees, stockings, cookies, etc, while the announcer reads the first few lines of "The Night Before Christmas." After all these warm, fuzzy shots, the announcer says the line "Not a creature was stirring, not even a...mouse." The word "mouse" is said in a really evil tone, and at the same point, we are offered a shot of the D-Con box. How tasteless can you get?)

2001: Dell ("Dude, you were really annoying").

2002: 1-800-CALL-ATT (Why they ever thought Carrot Top would be entertaining is a mystery that may never be solved).

2003: Verizon ("Can you hear me now?" 'Nuff said).

2004: Cherry Pepto Bismol (This featured a line of about 5 grocery store employees dancing in front of the check-out. This dance involved grabbing the parts of the body that Pepto Bismol treats, including stomachs and butts. Intermittently, a hand holding a bottle of Cherry Pepto Bismol popped in front of the camera, obscuring the view of the dancers. The hand kind of shook or bounced the bottle to the beat of the music. I'm not sure who came up with this lame-brained idea, but they need to be fired).

2005: Imodium A-D (There’s a woman laying on the beach, when she suddenly sits up and gets a shocked look on her face. The announcer speaks in an ominous voice about how you can feel it coming…”It’s…diarrhea!” The woman pulls a book off her stomach to reveal a scene from a Godzilla movie superimposed on her middle. The fact that diarrhea is being portrayed by Godzilla is just disturbing).

Please spread the word as well. I'll take nominations until Christmas Day, so hurry!!!